Kumkum (vermilion) - red powder used for marking the forehead
to signify good luck and to say that your soul (husband) is with
you.
The arrival of the bridegroom's party at the venue is heralded
by special musical tunes played on the shehnai (flute).
The groom's party is formally welcomed outside by the bride's
family and relatives before being led into the suite. The groom
himself is treated to a ritual welcome at the entrance by the
bride's mother. He is then escorted to the mandap ( the fourpole
canopy where the actual wedding ceremony takes place) while the
rest of the party takes seats among the audience.
The groom is accompanied to the mandap by the best man and also
a young girl, usually his sister, cousin or niece. Her job is
to keep on shaking a small, metal pot, covered with a white cloth,
containing coins and betelnut. The jingle is supposed to keep
the groom awake during the ceremony. In olden days, weddings used
to take place at night, lasting several hours, and the bride and
groom were very young!
The bride, normally dressed in a white and red sari with embroidery
in gold thread, is led to the canopy by her maternal uncle who
blesses the couple and gives them a cash gift. Often the bride
has another sari on top of her head which has been presented by
the groom's parents usually accompanied by some jewellery. White
is for purity and red signifies abundance and fertility. Garlands
are then exchanged between the couple.
The whole wedding ceremony essentially consists of three parts
as described below.
Kanyadaan
The bride's parents perform rituals of the giving away of their
daughter. This includes washing the couple's feet with milk and
water to purify them for a new life.
Hastamelap
In this ceremony -which literally means joining of hands -the
bride's right hand is placed on that of the groom whilst the priest
chants holy verses. At this point a loop of white raw cotton,
wound round 24 times symbolising different characteristics and
virtues of human life, is put round the shoulders of the bride
and groom.
This means that these threads of white cotton bind the two together
from now onwards as partners to fulfil their respective roles
fully and sincerely. Although a single thread of raw cotton is
easily broken, many of them form a very strong bond and so will
abilities and virtues bind them together more securely in a stronger
bond.
The marriage vows
After this a small open fire is lit in the centre and the fire
God is invited to witness the marriage. Fire, a purifying agent,
is also a source of energy. Only fire can separate this bond of
unity between bride and groom. The bride and the groom are joined
by a piece of white cloth, one end of which is tied to the bride's
sari and the other thrown over the groom's shoulder.
The bride's brothers are called in to participate in the next
ceremony called 'mangal fera' when the groom and bride walk around
the fire four times. All the rounds are initiated by the bride's
brothers and male cousins, signifying their consent to the marriage.
This solidifies their marriage and makes them husband and wife.
The bride's brother/cousin fills the palms of the couple with
grains of rice, oats and leaves, which signify the four blessings:
wealth, good health, prosperity and happiness. These they offer
to the fire signifying that "all these worldly possessions
we sacrifice to you because there isn't anything greater and more
rewarding than your blessings upon us".
They walk around the fire four times paying homage to all saints
and prophets and to God Almighty who dwells in all four directions.
The circumambulation also signifies the four stages of life, namely
childhood, youth, middle age and old age.
During the first three rounds the groom is followed by his bride.
This signifies "I shall follow you wherever you go-in happiness
or hard times". In the final round the bride goes in front
and the groom follows, which signifies that during old age when
the time for departing comes, the bride wishes to die first and
not be left as widow.
During the ceremony when the bride and bridegroom are in the canopy,
they represent Lord Vishnu and Laxmi-Vishnu being the creator
- and thus, after this ceremony they have the right to carry on
the family tree.
The wedding ceremony is now over and they are declared man and
wife.
The bride's mother brings some Indian sweets for the newlyweds.
The bride feeds five mouthfuls of sweets signifying "I
am your wife and it will be my duty to cook for you and your family".
The groom does the same signifying his duty to provide for her
and their family. A prearranged number of relatives also come
into the mandap and put a red mark on the forehead of both the
bride and groom, and sprinkle rice grains. The red dot signifies
'saubhagya', meaning may your husband live a long and happy life,
the rice signifies 'may the heavens shower upon you all happiness
and wealth, progress and peace and may you have sons'.
Laughter and tears
At this stage some of the ladies may try and pull the groom's
nose, and if one of them succeeds the groom will try to get hold
of her sari. If he does then he can demand some form of compensation.
Whether he gets it is a different matter but this is done just
for fun to bring laughter in the ceremony.
It is now time for jubilation and exchange of greetings in the
middle of the mandap. Relatives and friends come to bless the
couple and all guests are welcome to do this beneath the canopy
After this follows a session of family photographs and in the
meanwhile the rest of the guests are invited to dinner.
When the dinner is over, the departure of the marriage party commences,
which is known as 'viday'. Farewell to the bride by her parents,
brothers and sisters, relatives and friends is indeed a very emotional
part of the whole event. The bride is leaving her parental home
to build an entirely new life with her husband and members of
his immediate family in a different environment altogether. She
leaves with tears of joy and sorrow, but carries the very best
wishes of all who witnessed her matrimonial ceremony.
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