Sex Survey
Please
complete the following survey to determine the nature of your sex-life: 1 Do you and your partner make love
[A] once a month or less?
[B] more than once a month?
[C] 5 times a night?
2 When you make love, do
you engage in foreplay
[A] what's foreplay????
[B] for at least 5 minutes?
[C] using a feather duster and a whip?
3 During intercourse, what
positions do you use?
[A] under the sheets, with the lights off, thank you very much
[B] various, depending on the mood
[C] tied up in the wardrobe with one foot in a bucket of cold custard
4 During intercourse, do
you and your partner
[A] get it over as quickly as possible?
[B] say words of encouragement to each other like "Mmm, that's nice" and
"Ooohh, yes, right there"?
[C] beat each other with kippers and lick ice-cream out of each others' armpits?
5 After intercourse, do
you
[A] roll over and go to sleep without saying a word?
[B] cuddle your partner and tell them how good it was?
[C] swing from the ceiling-light, yodelling like Tarzan, then pick up an axe and cut a
large notch in the headboard while smoking a cigarette?
Your answers
Mostly [A]'s
Perhaps you could try to be a bit more adventurous
Mostly [B]'s
You have a healthy sex-life and a good understanding with your partner
Mostly [C]'s
Let me know your address, I'll be round with a few mates and a 6-pack to watch
Thank
you for your co-operation
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