Quotes
About Dogs Whoever said you can't buy happiness
forgot little puppies. Dogs feel very strongly that they
should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark
violently at nothing right in your ear. Outside of a dog, a book is probably
man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. The scientific name for an animal
that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch. To his dog, every man is Napoleon;
hence the constant popularity of dogs. Did you ever walk into a room and
forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. I think animal testing is a terrible
idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. No animal should ever jump up on the
dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that that he can hold his own in the
conversation. Scratch a dog and you'll find a
permanent job. Ever consider what they must think
of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul
--chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! I wonder if other dogs think poodles
are members of a weird religious cult. If dogs could talk it would take a
lot of the fun out of owning one. If a dog will not come to you after
having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. If I have any beliefs about
immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few
persons. You enter into a certain amount of
madness when you marry a person with pets. Rambunctious, rumbustious,
delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting. Don't accept your dog's admiration
as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Women and cats will do as they
please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. In order to keep a true perspective
of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will
ignore him. There is no psychiatrist in the
world like a puppy licking your face. Dogs are not our whole life, but
they make our lives whole. Cat's Motto: No matter what you've
done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. Money will buy you a pretty good
dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. No one appreciates the very special
genius of your conversation as the dog does. A dog is the only thing on earth
that loves you more than he loves himself. Man is a dog's idea of what God
should be. The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person. He is your friend, your partner,
your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours,
faithful and true, to the last beat Heaven goes by favor. If it went by
merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. I care not for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then
when I die I want to go where they went. If you pick up a starving dog and
make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog
and a man. Things that upset a terrier may pass
virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane. I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a
quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think
humans are nuts. My husband and I are either going to
buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives. I put contact lenses in my dog's
eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in
circles. I bought a dog the other day... I
named him Stay. It's fun to call him... 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went
insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. I spilled spot remover on my dog.
He's gone now. The other day, I was walking my dog
around my building... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid
of widths. A door is what a dog is perpetually
on the wrong side of. A dog teaches a boy fidelity,
perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a
dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. --Jeff Valdez Histories are more full of examples
of the fidelity of dogs than of friends. Do not make the mistake of treating
your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. Did you ever notice when you blow in
a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the
window. If dogs could talk, it would take a
lot of the fun out of owning one. If you don't own a dog, at least
one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong
with your life. If you are a dog and your owner
suggests that you wear a sweater . . . suggest that he wear a tail. Near this spot are deposited the
remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage
without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man without his Vices. This praise, which would
be unmeaning Flattery, if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just Tribute to the Memory
of BOATSWAIN, a Dog. In order to really enjoy a dog, one
doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the
possibility of becoming partly a dog. The great pleasure of a dog is that
you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will
make a fool of himself Our dogs, like our shoes, are
comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they
fit well. A watchdog is a dog kept to guard
your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over
him. Never judge a dog's pedigree by the
kind of books he does not chew. You always sympathize with the
underdog, except when the other dog is yours. Not only is life a bitch, but it is
always having puppies.
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